Ask Questions!

In the wake of the Ferguson decision I debated blogging about this.  I mean it's all that's been in the news, on Facebook, Twitter, etc. for the last few days.  So blogging about it at the time of Thanksgiving made me question myself.  Shouldn't I blog about what I'm thankful for?  I then realized what I'm ultimately thankful for.

First a little background.  I was raised in a middle class white family.  My parents are still married and all my sisters and I all have the same mom and dad.  Not very normal by today's standards.  We are originally from Kansas (I know a very republican/conservative state) for those that are not from there and don't know more.  We grew up military kids and moved around a lot.  We always went back to Kansas because that's where our grandparents were so that was our "home".  Many don't realize that Kansas has a lot of Hispanics.  When I say a lot, where my grandma lives in Garden City, Kansas it is 48% hispanic as of the 2010 census.  I have an uncle who is Mexican and he's been my uncle all my life.  My parents had friends of all races so that being said, color was never anything I saw.  When I say I was raised color blind, I indeed was.

My grandfather who was born and raised in Oklahoma and later lived his adult life in Kansas was the nicest man you will ever meet.  So when people talk about middle America and it being a bunch of racist rednecks I ask them "have you ever been to middle America"?  In the small town my grandparents lived, you didn't drive past someone without waiving.  If that's how rednecks are then sign me up!  When I married my husband (who is white, black, and cuban) no one batted an eye.  Why would they?  Remember we weren't raised to see the color of people's skin.  I take my family to Kansas and they are welcomed with open arms.  So because we are so color blind, the conversation of racism doesn't come up.  Until this week....

I posted the following on my Facebook page after the decision not to indite: "My thoughts are with the peaceful protestors of Ferguson and the Brown family. Being the mother of biracial children this world scares me to death. #dontshoot"   I immediately got a response from one of my cousins back home.  "Do you really run into people acting like its a problem? Maybe because I don't have children I don't see it. I really thought this was a thing of the past".  Why did she ask this?  Because she's my family, so like me she was raised color blind.  She may not realize it but her comment has resonated in my mind for a few days now.   I advised her unfortunately racism is alive and well still.  That I have walked into a store alone and no one bats an eye, but can go back to that same store a week later and get followed because I have my kids with me.  Don't get me wrong, I have got it from the black side also.  I remember in high school a friend of mines mom called me "the keebler people" (get it cracker).  As a 14 year old girl I didn't correct her.  I mean I'm a kid, she's an adult and it's her house.  I look back now and think "how ignorant was she".  I could never ever think of calling any of my kids friends a slang racist word! I hope she can live with the fact that that is my memory of her.  My cousin apologized after I told her my story.  She didn't have to.

You know why she didn't have to?  Because unlike most people she did one thing right here....she asked!!  She didn't assume, she didn't live in a little bubble of "it won't happen to me", or that doesn't happen.  For that I thank her.  If we all would just step outside our shoes and ask ourselves "what are they going through, how do they feel about this" this world would be a better place.  I leave you with this.  Are all cops bad?  Nope.  Are all black people racist "thugs" (seems to be the word of the moment)?  Nope.  Are all white people racist?  Nope.   The only way to know who is who is to ask.  
Talk to each other and learn from each other.  In other words don't judge a book by it's cover.  

So I am thankful for my family roots of seeing no color.  Thanks for raising me right and making me the person I am today.  There is no one person to thank here,  it takes a village.  Now let me go start cooking the desserts I'm going to feed to my very colorful and loved family.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.    

I'm a Fly Baby

No this does not mean I'm fly as in cool or hip (well I am, but that isn't what this is about). What I mean by that is I frequent flylady.net. Sorry this may not be my usual blog of laughter. Nope today I'm talking about cleaning house. No one likes to do it. With 4 kids and working full time I pretty much came to the point where I just called my house the "lived in look' and gave up. Then recently I found a group called 40 bags in 40 days. Many of you that follow me on Facebook watched this experiment unfold.

 40 bags in 40 days is a declutter challenge. Each day you focus on one particular area of the house and get a bag and pile it for garage sale, donation, or just throw shit away. You do not do much at a time. First thing you do is compile your list. Walk around your house and I promise you will find 40 places that you want to focus on. Each kids closet can be a day, or you can say floor of closet for one day, shelf of closet another day. Never make any particular day something that will take you longer than 30 minutes. For example day one for me was for the top of the fridge in my laundry room. I was just piling stuff up there for no reason. That stuff was a hodgepodge of stuff from hummingbird food to an old shelf from a refrigerator I no longer had. It took me 10 minutes to clean that area because for the most part I threw everything up there away. That was day one.... I then found myself obsessed with this whole decluttering world. I was looking on my list for "what's tomorrow". This is a sad life I know. However, it kept my house clean. When I'd clean an area, then another, and another slowly I saw that the less stuff I had the better I felt. It's amazing how much stuff one acquires and keeps. Now I'm no hoarder by any means, but really do I need to still have the manual to that crock pot I've had for 8 years? Am I going to suddenly forget how to use it?

 So began my obsession with this 40 bags thing. I found there was a group on Facebook called 40 bags in 40 days 2013. The page must have been started that year, but the membership is over 20,000 and it's a very active site. I love reading people's post on there. It's a well maintained site. No one is rude. It's full of "look what I did today" and "I need advice". If anything it's a place to look at people's pictures and say "damn my house isn't that bad". Regardless I love that group! From there they taught me about a place called www.flylady.net.

 So I mosey on over to this website about 6 months ago (they also have a Facebook page). At first I was very confused. Where do I start? What do I click on? What is this? First thing I suggest is sign up for their email. The email is waaay too frequent for my taste so I changed my settings and I only get the "Sneak Peak" on Saturday. You can also see what the sneak peak is on the main page under the tab titled "today". I chose to get the email, because honestly I need the reminder to look at my "assignment" each week. From there you will see a plan of attack. Each week the site goes into zones. Zones are similar to the areas I talked about in 40 bags. Zones are a certain room in the house. Each day you are told what room to go to and what to do in that room. I am busy through out the week so I do all 5 days (Monday through Friday) all on Sunday. Here are the November zones:

Zone 1: Entrance, Front Porch & Dining Room (November 01)
Zone 2: The Kitchen (November 02 – 08)
Zone 3: The Bathroom and One Extra Room (November 09 – 15)
Zone 4: The Master Bedroom (November 16 – 22)
Zone 5: The Living Room (November 23 – 30)

 As you can see you can attack a particular room every week. The zones will come back around, but the next time that zone comes you may not get the same "assignment" in that room. I find a lot of weeks that they have me doing stuff I forget about. Today I was "assigned" the laundry room and had to clean behind the washer and dryer. Secret revealed! That's where the socks are!

 Just a few more things I like about this site and then I'll stop boring you or holding you up from all that cleaning I know you can't wait to do (that was my sarcasm there).

 Fly Kids Challenge: You can find this on the launch pad on the site. It's a challenge you can give your kids. Today's challenge is: Walk through the house and find 10 things that belong in your room and put them away. My kids love these challenges. It's like a counting game and they feel accomplished. Since we still have Halloween candy I let mine have a piece of candy as a reward. You can use stickers or dollar store items too if you'd like.

 Menu Planning: Great tips on how to get ahead of the dinner dilemma each day and tips on how to save as well as sites and books to help you. 15 minutes

Hot Spot Cleaning: Set your timer for 15 minutes and go to an area that is always cluttered. Mine is my kitchen counter. Hot mess all the time, the mail, school reminders, etc. always pile up. If you attack this area daily for 15 minutes you'll find it no longer is decluttered ever! I also use the hot spot timer on my kids in their room. They find it a game and love to see how much they can clean in that time.

 So there you have it. Is my house immaculate? Nope not at all, but I have a hold on it now. It's no longer an entire day's job to get it in order and it's no longer something I dread. I'm always on top of it for the most part and so glad I do it. Please if any of you have something similar you do please share. We mom's (and dad's) need all the help we can get! Have a great week everyone!

Hi my name is Renee and I'm a music addict

Today I was driving home listening to some old musical favorites and thought about all the memories that music has given me in my life. Those that know me know that I love music.  I can name a song in three notes and usually add the year it came out to go with it.  If you are ever on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and you need a lifeline, I'm your girl.  Before the days of the internet, I was the original "Shazam" and my friends would call me in the middle of the night drunk asking me "who sings that song...."  I miss those drunken phone calls.  We all have kids now, and the internet.

I love all kinds of music.  The love of music came very early for me.  When I was 4 my grandpa Poppy bought me my first record player.  It was one of those that looked like a suitcase.  I believe that's what started it all.  Every time we would go to the store or a garage sale when my sisters would get a coloring book I would get a 45.  I still have all those 45s in my parents attic.  Most of them are 80s classics such as the Eurythmics, Culture Club, and Denise Williams.  One 45 though that I got a garage sale for probably a quarter was a song called "Where you going Billy" by the Poppy's.  Funny that Poppy has now been mentioned twice in this blog and I'm only on the second paragraph...  That song originally came out in 1969, but I loved it.  I was probably around 6 when that got non stop play in my room along side my Muppets.

Then I turned 7 and this amazing record by the name of Thriller came out.  You may have heard of it.  My parents bought me the record and I did what all 7 year olds at that time did, I took it for show and tell.  Mrs. Moyer's class.  I stood so proud and said "this is my Michael Jackson album" (I still remember that oohs and aaaahs, I understand boys and girls, I understand).  "I love Michael Jackson and I really like his song Beat It".  I wonder if that teacher thought to herself "this is not a normal 7 year old".  Well needless to say I still have that album.  It's up in my closet next to my Jackson 5 Victory Tour picture disc album that my aunt Joni bought me.  I'm sure they are worth money, but to me they are far to precious to ever part from.

So came the 80s.  My dad was a college student so I did a lot of driving with him to school.  Often times I sat in the back of his classes during the summer.  I guess you could do that in the 80s or else my dad just hid me behind him well.  Don't ask me shit about engineering, I never paid attention, I just colored.  My best memories of that time was the music played in his Astro.  I to this day can't hear "Puttin on the Ritz" by Taco without think of this bar that was across the street from the Kansas State campus called "the Ritz".  I swore that song was about that place.  I mean don't all artist write hit songs about a bar in the middle of Kansas?  So many great tunes from Huey Lewis and the News to Madonna to the Police.  The best musical memory with my dad is David Lee Roth's Just a Gigolo.  We would sing that song at the top of our lungs in the car.  The best ride of all was when we drove to my grandmother's about 100 miles away blasting that.  Those country roads of Kansas had no idea that the best singers in all the land were in that red Astro.  Well at least  the loudest anyway.  Boozdi Boozdi bop.... ok moving on.

So sticking with the 80s came the good ol music video.  MTV was first introduced August 1, 1981 (see I told you my musical knowledge is unparalleled) but I didn't have MTV in my house until probably around 1987.  What we did have was Friday Night Videos.  That's right 1 hour a week that I could stay up and watch Friday night videos.  I probably got a good 5 videos the entire hour but I didn't care, I  was excited.  I remember after that program TV went off.  Yes, the star spangled banner played and then you got the whole "off air" color thingy.  It was great.  The videos I remember most at that time were Smooth Operator by Sade, Wrapped around your Finger by the Police, and Solid as a Rock by Ashford and Simpson.  Thanks mom and dad for letting me watch this in your room with the rabbit ears.

Speaking of rabbit ears we now move on to the late 80s.  We lived in Alamogordo, New Mexico.  I had a TV in my room by then (with rabbit ears and foil of course).  I loved Saturday morning.  Saturday morning started with cartoons of course on the main tv until my dad woke up and kicked us out of the living room to watch this thing they call football.  I would then go to my room to watch the following: American Bandstand and Soul Train (and GLOW as well, but this isn't about wrestling it's about music).  Oh how I dreamed I would dance on one of those shows one day!!   We then move to Sunday early evening (right before 60 minutes) and we'd have the best musical show of the 80s....Solid Gold.  I dreamed of being a Solid Gold dancer.  I remember people asking me what I was going to be when I grew up and I'd say "a Solid Gold Dancer".  I'm sure my mom was so proud.  Sorry mom!   Unfortunately, when Andy Gibb died Marrilyn McCoo wasn't the same and the show was eventually  canceled.  Oh well, time for plan B I guess.  Damn it...

We then have the hair band phase.  Everyone went through it.  My dad came into my room one day and pointed at my Poison poster and said " who are these girls".  This was the same time I was into the Columbia Music club.  You know the ole "12 cassettes for 1 penny".  I split this with my dad and I remember the tapes coming in and he got Bread and I got Ratt.  Round and Round I will still jam with a hair brush microphone at first listen.

By 1989 I was able to go to my first school dances.  I learned then that I loved R&B and rap music.  Of all the music styles I listen to my favorite is some good ol R&B music.  The songs of Guy, Jodeci, Keith Sweat take me to another time.  On the way home today I pulled out an R and B playlist and felt like I was right back in the 9th grade at Hahn High School.   As for rap my first love of rap came when I heard Run DMC and the Beastie Boys.  I'm sure my parents hated it.  My daughter Keiana's first concert was when she was 5, I took her to Run DMC.  I can rattle off any rap group you can think of from Eric B and Rakim to Eightball and MJG.  I love hip hop and still do to this day.     There is nothing better than young kids pulling up to me at a light and they see this woman and think "that ain't your average soccer mom".  No boys it's not, word to your mutha.

As an adult and working with people I've always been the one everyone comments on when it comes to the musical cubicle.  "DJ Nay Nay get on the wheels of steel"!  I've heard it for years.  Back in 1997 I was working for a local cable company.  My co workers begged me to try out for this radio contest where you get to be the morning co host.  I thought "I will never get it".  They begged and I finally sent in my tape to the contest..."Star 104's Girl Next Door".  Well about a week later I get a call.  "Hi Renee we loved your tape and laughed the entire time, we would love for you to come to the station and try out for the job".  First thing I said "who from my job is calling with this sick joke".  No joke I was asked to come down.  So I grabbed my other musical friend Carina and we trucked it to Mobile Alabama for the gig.  4am is no joke, so those that do morning radio, I salute you.  I was nervous, but thought I did well.  I didn't get the job, found out the owner of the station gave the job to his daughter.  Guess it was rigged, but it was still fun.   I think if I could have a "do over" in life I'd major in communication and get into some sort of musical broadcasting.  Oh well....

So all that being said music is my outlet.  I love it.  I love to blast it in my house and clean.  Sing it in my car.  I love to have a few drinks and sing with people.  My favorite person to sing with is my sister Ashley.  She's many miles away in Europe and I miss her terribly.  She's an amazing singer!   I just got the good looks.  I love that music gives me memories.  Memories of a great life I've been lucky to have.  As a military brat I love that songs remind me of people and places and trips.  Music is something that has always been there for me, no matter what.  I'm going to end this by doing a little musical tribute.  Below are people and next to them is the song that takes me back to my great memories of them.  Those of you that are on the list...know the memory :)  

Mom - More than Words by Extreme
Lane - Mmmmm Bop by Hanson
Ashley - Superwoman by Karyn White
Keiana - My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion
Patty P - Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Tyson - Miss New Bootie (I know that's horrible , but true LOL)
Michelle Delgado - Happy by Surface
Karina Pastrana - Same Love by the Jets
Danis Saenz - Out of the Blue by Debbie Gibson
Carina Hearn - Big Pimpin
Sawanna Graves - Tootsie Roll
Astrid Valenzuela - Knockin the Boots
Nadia Atamanyuk - Lover Girl by Teena Marie
Michael Fooladi - Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money
Sarah Robinson - Sarah by Hall and Oates
Andrea Perez - Hold On by Wilson Phillips
Lisa Delgado - Ice Ice Baby
Traci Flenard - Anything by The Cure
Syndi Cote - Please Don't Go Girl NKOTB Shawn Moreland - Once Bitten Twice Shy Great White Josh Gibson - Brass Monkey The Beastie Boys Cortine Milton - Dance Tonight Lucy Pearl Michael Jackson (my cousin) - Sussudio by Phil Collins
last but not least....
Pierre - Tyrese anything by him and I think of you <3