Boys are Poopy

Boys are poopy.  I tell my girls that all the time.  I've been saying it to my oldest daughter who's now in college since the day she was born.  Why am I blogging about this today?  Well in the wake of the Jameis Winston scandal and having a daughter in college myself I have been thinking.

What he yelled in the student union doesn't surprise me.  Yes, you read that right.  These young boys (he's not a man, sorry) think it's cool to degrade women.  Why wouldn't they?  Have you watched a music video in the last 20 years? Have you read random young girl's tweets?  They act as if their body and their self respect don't really mean anything.  Why is that?  Where did we go wrong?  I personally don't know, but I think we do have a lot of things we can change to maybe make the next generation of young women and men think before they speak, act, or do.

First off, it's not cute to have a boyfriend.  So when little Billy comes home and says "I like this girl Sally in my class" don't think "awe, isn't that sweet".  No it's not.  I want to know what you did in math class, not about Sally on the playground in the cute flower dress.  Too harsh?  Don't care.  When we get all excited because they asked a girl to the middle school dance, not cute either.  Go to that dance with a group of girlfriends or guy friends and dance and eat pizza.  Go home and leave it at "man I wish they would stop letting Mr. Smith, the Biology teacher DJ our dances".  When they go to high school and want that serious boyfriend or girlfriend don't encourage that AT ALL.  Encourage taking dual enrollment classes or AP classes.  If all else fails every day as they are getting ready for school write on their bathroom mirror with shaving cream "BOYS ARE POOPY, HAVE A GOOD DAY"

So I know what you are thinking how in the world do we prevent this?  Well first off spying.  Spying always works.  Go through your kids book bags.  Read their notes (yes mom I said that).  Read their text.  You think your kid deserves privacy?  You get privacy when you pay that monthly bill and it's in your name.  Have all their passwords to their online social media accounts.  If their friends "friend" you, accept!  Nothing better than knowing what kind of friends your kids hang out with.  I'll never forget my oldest daughter's freshman year of high school and she asked to go to a party on Homecoming.  I instantly said "she's gonna have beer there and it's at a hotel".  My daughter's jaw dropped. She knew then "I'm no amateur parent".  I caught these parties a couple other times that year.  Yes kids are that dumb to post this stuff.  Now don't get my wrong did my daughter get away with things?  I'm sure, I'm sure she's still doing things that would make me cringe.  Did I at that age?  Yep!  Do I regret them?  HELL YES!

Now I have a son I need to raise.  That son will be taught you don't hit your sisters.  You don't disrespect your mother or any girl for that matter.  No she's not your girlfriend, you don't have a girlfriend.  Will I like his wife?  I doubt it.  In fact I feel pretty sorry for anyone that dates him (when he's in his 30s) because she will get the third degree and if she's not raised to respect herself I will discourage her in his life and mine!  Open doors for girls and women.  Help someone in trouble.  All those things that our dads and grandfathers did with no thought.  Bring back chivalry with our boys.  If our young men show women they are to be honored, maybe they will honor themselves.
So for all those young men and women at Florida State who were taught how to respect themselves I apologize.  I apologize for the name that Jameis is giving your school, your football team, your generation.  Unfortunately there are a lot of Jameis Winston's out there.  Those of us raising the next generation have a duty to stop it.

The second time around.

As many of you know my kids span from ages 19 to 4.  Yes 15 years apart.  When I had my oldest daughter Keiana I was only 19 myself.  Just a kid still trying to figure out life.  She was my only child until she was 12.  Her dad and I divorced when she was 4.  I was lucky enough to meet my now husband 2 years later when she was 6.  Although we didn't marry until years later she kinda grew up with us.
Being young and still in my 20s and dating, I wasn't the parent I am today to my little kids (4,5, and 7 years old).  I let her hang out with the adults.  Watch movies and TV shows she shouldn't,  and probably talked about adult subject matter where she could hear.  I didn't shield her.
Don't get me wrong I think I was a good mom.  I was always there for her, didn't party and leave her with random strangers, nope never.  The day she was born my life was no longer mine, I always knew that.   I felt "well if she's gonna learn, see, hear it somewhere I'd rather it be at home".  Well I no longer feel that way.  I say let your kids be kids as long as you can.  Put them in that plastic bubble where the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny are all true and fun.  Where the worst thing that happens is you get a boo boo that day.  I wish I did this with her.  I wish she didn't see MTV until she was well....never!  There's no videos on now and if they are they are horrible videos of women being degraded.  I wish I hugged her more and said I love you.  I do now, but I regret the cuddle time when she was little.  The times I thought "she will always be little".
Well she's not little.  Nope, now she's in college and the highlight of my day is talking to her on the phone and listening to her tell me about her latest test or paper.  I wonder what she ate today?   Is she ok with money?  (because I know she'd never ask me for a dime)  I ask myself did I teach her all the right things so she can make the right decisions?  I regret a lot of things with her.  I am so extremely proud of her.  I'm not always so proud of myself.  She's always told me "you're a great mom".  Well I appreciate it, but I certainly wish I did things different.
The first day I realized this was when I took one of the little kids homemade cupcakes to school.  The school told me "due to allergies we can only have store bought cupcakes brought in".  I asked Keiana "was it like that when you were in school?'  She responded "You never made me cupcakes".  Well that was a slap of reality!  Needless to say Keiana took cupcakes to school that next day (she was in 9th grade, the kids still like them).

So now here I am...the second time around.  My kids are in Pre-K, Kindergarten, and 2nd grade.  On my agenda this year is to go with each of them on a field trip.  The truth is, I've never been on a field trip.  Nope, I worked too much when Keiana was growing up. I had a job that was never flexible never let me off for anything.  Even if I took off for a doctors appointment my peers gave me the guilt trip so I rarely did.  I took a job Keiana's senior year of high school that gave me that flexibility.  Her senior year I didn't miss a single meet, event, anything.  I owed her that.  I owed myself that.
I missed out with her and I hate it.  Time is gone I will never get back.  I wish I could rewind and she could be that little girl that said "boys and GAAARS" in my class.  Or told me how something "just ready happened".  I miss that cute little girl.  So parents when they say it goes fast, believe me it does.  Don't miss a moment to tell your kids you love them, hug them, and shield them.  They have plenty of time to grow up.  Go be the tooth fairy, make forts with them, color with them, do it all.  You will be glad you did.

Keiana and I at her high school graduation in May of this year.

Back at It

So I tried this blogging thing a few years ago.  Didn't realize it had been a few years ago until I saw my last blog.  That blog was on Sandy Hook and the horrible shooting there.  I hope today's blog can be much lighter (they all won't be I mean I am a mom of 4 who's life is far from Sarah Jessica Parker's in Sex and the City).   I actually consider myself more like Samantha.  Oh sorry, ADD kicking in.  Being a mom is tough.   From 630 in the morning I am shot out of bed like a cannon ball (no not a wrecking ball, that's Miley Cyrus's life).  Now I got this thing down don't get me wrong.  Here's an average run down of life in Irbyville:

Wake up each kid
Room 1...shake shake shake...mommy loves you time to get up.
Room 2....shake shake shake....mommy loves you time to get up.
Room 3....shake shake shake....mommy loves you time to get up.

Off to the kitchen to make breakfast.  I kick it real gourmet around here.  Cold cereal, oatmeal, or grits.  Sometimes I get real fancy with it and pop in some frozen pancakes in the microwave.  See I told you, I'm Top Chef material.  Padma call a sister!  I then fill up three cups of milk (that only one kid will drink).

Back to the rooms to see who needs a second round of shake shake shake, you're going to make me late.  Mommy loves you!!  That's the extended version of wake up time, not sold in stores.

Now I go get dressed.  Like my cooking my fashion is also something to talk about.  Normally jeans, flip flops, and a t-shirt from a 5K that I am so happy to sport because I worked my ass off to run 3.3 miles.  I don't want to hear it marathon runners.  Keep your comments to yourselves!   Ponytail, no make up, and brush my teeth.  This takes a good 10 minutes.  Heidi Klum call me!

I then walk back out into the dining room.  Normally two of the three kids are now at the bathroom brushing their teeth and leaving that pink snake known as toothpaste out ready to attack the next victim!  Do they get any of this on their teeth?

All kids get their teeth brushed (I think), put their shoes on, and get their snack for school.  All this is done in about a 35 minute time span.  See I told you I've got this down.  I drive two kids down to the bus stop.  We listen to either Kids Place Live or Radio Disney until the bus comes.  Did you know Weird Al Yankovich did a version of Fancy by Iggy Azalea that's called I'm so Handy.  I bet you didn't but if you lived in Irbyville you'd know!

Two kids out of the car (with the Handy song in their heads all day I'm sure).  Then I drop the last kid off prior to making it to work.  Once that kid is dropped off I immediately switch from "I'm a Gummi Bear" to anything that's cursing on Sway in the Morning's hip hop channel.  The start of Sway means the start of adult time.  I walk into work, make my coffee (see I haven't had it yet), work with people that don't say "I need to go potty", "He hit me", or "I can gargle my milk".  These adults are quite fascinating, but I must say a bit boring.

I then drive home.  This is the time to call me if you have anything to say to be that can't be said in a text.  If you don't get to me during this 40 minute time span you can PACK IT UP!  As soon as I walk in that door I will have a cheering section.  MOMMY!!!!!!!  Quickly followed up by "what's for dinner" ( I know you all feel the love don't you).  I cook dinner asap, or grab a freezer meal I sat out.  If  I even attempt to sit down you can FORGET me cooking.  Pizzahut.com comes really fast!

Then we have showers, hair done because I do that the night before, and bed.  This is a slow night folks when we don't have soccer practice.  Soccer night is a whole other blog.

So that's a day in Irbyville.  Glamorous?  No not at all.  Fun?  Sometimes.  Exhausting?  All the time.  Worth it?  Damn straight.  Until I'm shot out of my cannon tomorrow folks, I'm signing off.

All the characters of Irbyville