Back at It

So I tried this blogging thing a few years ago.  Didn't realize it had been a few years ago until I saw my last blog.  That blog was on Sandy Hook and the horrible shooting there.  I hope today's blog can be much lighter (they all won't be I mean I am a mom of 4 who's life is far from Sarah Jessica Parker's in Sex and the City).   I actually consider myself more like Samantha.  Oh sorry, ADD kicking in.  Being a mom is tough.   From 630 in the morning I am shot out of bed like a cannon ball (no not a wrecking ball, that's Miley Cyrus's life).  Now I got this thing down don't get me wrong.  Here's an average run down of life in Irbyville:

Wake up each kid
Room 1...shake shake shake...mommy loves you time to get up.
Room 2....shake shake shake....mommy loves you time to get up.
Room 3....shake shake shake....mommy loves you time to get up.

Off to the kitchen to make breakfast.  I kick it real gourmet around here.  Cold cereal, oatmeal, or grits.  Sometimes I get real fancy with it and pop in some frozen pancakes in the microwave.  See I told you, I'm Top Chef material.  Padma call a sister!  I then fill up three cups of milk (that only one kid will drink).

Back to the rooms to see who needs a second round of shake shake shake, you're going to make me late.  Mommy loves you!!  That's the extended version of wake up time, not sold in stores.

Now I go get dressed.  Like my cooking my fashion is also something to talk about.  Normally jeans, flip flops, and a t-shirt from a 5K that I am so happy to sport because I worked my ass off to run 3.3 miles.  I don't want to hear it marathon runners.  Keep your comments to yourselves!   Ponytail, no make up, and brush my teeth.  This takes a good 10 minutes.  Heidi Klum call me!

I then walk back out into the dining room.  Normally two of the three kids are now at the bathroom brushing their teeth and leaving that pink snake known as toothpaste out ready to attack the next victim!  Do they get any of this on their teeth?

All kids get their teeth brushed (I think), put their shoes on, and get their snack for school.  All this is done in about a 35 minute time span.  See I told you I've got this down.  I drive two kids down to the bus stop.  We listen to either Kids Place Live or Radio Disney until the bus comes.  Did you know Weird Al Yankovich did a version of Fancy by Iggy Azalea that's called I'm so Handy.  I bet you didn't but if you lived in Irbyville you'd know!

Two kids out of the car (with the Handy song in their heads all day I'm sure).  Then I drop the last kid off prior to making it to work.  Once that kid is dropped off I immediately switch from "I'm a Gummi Bear" to anything that's cursing on Sway in the Morning's hip hop channel.  The start of Sway means the start of adult time.  I walk into work, make my coffee (see I haven't had it yet), work with people that don't say "I need to go potty", "He hit me", or "I can gargle my milk".  These adults are quite fascinating, but I must say a bit boring.

I then drive home.  This is the time to call me if you have anything to say to be that can't be said in a text.  If you don't get to me during this 40 minute time span you can PACK IT UP!  As soon as I walk in that door I will have a cheering section.  MOMMY!!!!!!!  Quickly followed up by "what's for dinner" ( I know you all feel the love don't you).  I cook dinner asap, or grab a freezer meal I sat out.  If  I even attempt to sit down you can FORGET me cooking.  Pizzahut.com comes really fast!

Then we have showers, hair done because I do that the night before, and bed.  This is a slow night folks when we don't have soccer practice.  Soccer night is a whole other blog.

So that's a day in Irbyville.  Glamorous?  No not at all.  Fun?  Sometimes.  Exhausting?  All the time.  Worth it?  Damn straight.  Until I'm shot out of my cannon tomorrow folks, I'm signing off.

All the characters of Irbyville